2 weeks before Christmas, I was clumsy.

I walked down stairs I’d traversed 100 times before. But this time, hypermobility, natural clumsiness, or exhaustion got the better of me and I slipped and fell 3 steps from the bottom.

I landed ungracefully, having tried to save both myself and my laptop bag in the moment I lost balance. I thought I had just wounded my pride, until I realised I couldn’t feel anything in my left pinky finger. I also couldn’t move it from its curved position, and there was an alarming dent near the knuckle where previously it had been straight.

My first reaction, as a right-dominant-handed person was: I really wish this happened to my right hand.

Which seems irrational if you do not know that I have played the violin for over 45 years. My right hand just holds the bow. As long as I *can* hold it, and my wrist flexes, that’s all it needs to do. Hell, I met a syndactylous right-handed violin player in one orchestra, and she was fabulous.

My left hand however. My fingers need to race and position without conscious thought. They need to know exactly where they are at all times. They also need to remember all previous positions for every piece of music they have ever played, and also every piece of music my ears and brain have remembered. Plus every piece of music my brain invents off the cuff, and every piece of sheet music I read. These left-hand fingers have a huge job ahead of them.

I’m now 10 days out of having my finger strapped into a traction splint for four weeks, and have a removable plastic splint. I’m doing physio 10+ times per day. And slowly, so very slowly, my finger is remembering that it can move under instruction from my brain. Mere millimetres at present, but I’m hoping and working for complete rehabilitation.

When I had my first appointment at the hospital and I asked how long recovery would take, the consultant said “it depends how motivated you are to do physiotherapy”. This is clearly someone who doesn’t know me. I have so much motivation.

All I think of is Uma Thurman in Kill Bill part 1. “Wiggle the top joint of your pinky finger” I say, as I stare at it. It has started to, and I’m now measuring increments in the angle of movement.

The remaining fingers in my left hand, are pacing out scales and arpeggios so they don’t get lazy. And Bach’s double violin concerto in D minor, because that’s a favourite.

So I will be playing as normal again by Easter. That’s my self-set target, because we have to have aspirations. I think this might be the longest time I haven’t played for, so my neighbours will be relishing this time of peace. Joke’s on them, because it’s going to get noisier the second I’m signed off to play again. I mean, it’s got to be good physio, surely?